holy fuck.
my dad just called to tell me that my mom is going into ANOTHER emergency surgery. apparently when they drained her lungs the other day, something happened and now shes bleeding in her lungs and she might not make it. fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck
my dad was crying on the phone and freaking out and ive been crying and i dont even know what to say or do or think.
dfhjjdhfgjhdsgfjkhdsfkjh i dont even know. just shoot me please, i cant do this.

jhpoiupkrjthsdkjghskljh

my mom is going into emergency surgery right now, she got an infection last week and apparently it got really bad so theyre trying to fix it, im not really sure whats going on exactly but thats all i know so far.
this is ridiculous, and her sister is down from ohio and now my mom is gonna be in the hospital even longer, this is ridiculous.
doigujhsdkjdshgsdhg i dont even know. and now i have to work

edit-

my mom had an emergency surgery this morning because of an infection. it ended up being 5 hrs long, they found cancer + infection mixed together. so they ended up removing 2 ft of her intestines and shes in the ICU right now, and probably for another couple of days and then probably another week or so in the hospital. this is going on 3 weeks of her being in the hospital, please keep praying

im so mad that lj is down, its been down for the past hour or so. i need to write in my personal journal, but i guess ill settle for this one. i type faster than i hand write things, so its easier to use a computer.

my mom has cancer. again. shes been in the hospital since last tuesday, she had another surgery cuz the fucking cancer came back and she had a huge operation. like they fixed her hernia, removed part of her intestines where the cancer was and reattached them, and found more cancer in her stomach cavity. so i went to visit her a few days after the surgery and she was kinda delirious but not too bad. then i got sick and couldnt go back to visit her til this past tuesday (a few days ago). she was sitting up in a chair when we came in and we brought her soup and she was wide awake and she ate soup and drank tea while i was there, i was so excited. i thought she was doing better, but every time ive talked to my dad, hes told me shes been disoriented and confused, and how he thinks shes not actually getting better and theres a pit in his stomach, basically that we have no hope. its awful, tonight he told me that she told him she thinks shes gonna die. like what the heck, i dont understand. i thought she was getting better. my brother keeps telling me we need to be positive and every time i talk to my dad he acts like our whole world is falling apart. what i hate the most is that the 2 people that have kept me together since for the past 22 years are the ones that are falling apart. and my husband, oh my god. i might kill him before this whole thing is over, or just leave him. he keeps being such an ass, i swear he doesnt even care about all of this. hes thrown 3 hissy fits about nothing since ive gotten home tonight. and yesterday he flipped the fuck out at me. i feel so alone, i feel like nobody is even on my side or there for me to talk to. i dont have a best friend anymore, and the people i know would care are not here, theyre far away. and it just sucks. i hate all of this. i feel like im falling apart now. i feel so alone, i cant even put it into words. my heart hurts.